stil..bout letting go..

August 5th, 2008 by goddessofhatred

letting go

it hurts me alot knowing i can never
be with you
does it hurt you as much as it hurts me?

the 1 person that you want more than anything in the whole world is the 1 person you can never have
but why?
why does it hurt so much?
why does the pain get worse?
i have alot of anger in me
so called friends dont even notice
i think im in love with you
but does the love come from the mind
or the heart?
how are you ever to know?
you said lets just be friends
but friends is such a lonely word
now our love only exists in our memories
even our friendship is gone….but a new one can be born
i might not have the perfect smile or a nice soft voice but i have a heart
and you know whats bad about having a heart?
it gets broken by people like you
ther are nights i stay up and wish
i never met you
so i can sleep not knowing there is someone like you out there
i keep trying to hold on to you
but i guess its pointless to hold onto
something ill never grasp
i have to try to let you go
no matter how hard it is
but one thing ill never forget is the way you changed my world
baby,you gave me wings to fly

-nellya-

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about love

July 29th, 2008 by goddessofhatred

            “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like ‘maybe we should be just friends’ turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” -Neil Gaiman-

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sad love story

July 16th, 2008 by goddessofhatred
IT’S 7TH GRADE..

I stared at the girl next to me… She was my so called "best friend"… I stared at her… Long, silky hair… And I wished she was mine… But she didn’t notice me like that… I knew it… After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before… And I handed them to her… She said "thanks"… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know that I don’t want to be "just friends"… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…

IT’S JUNIOR YEAR..

My phone rang… On the other end it was her… She was in tears… Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart… She asked me to come over because she didn’t want to be alone… So I did… As I sat next to her on the sofa… I stared at her soft eyes… Wishing she was mine… After 2 hours… I Drew Barrymore movie… And 3 bags of chips… She decided to go to sleep… She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I want her to know… That I don’t want to be "just friends"… I love her but I’m too shy to tell her… And I don’t know why…

IT’S SENIOR YEAR..

The day before prom… She walked to my locker… "My date is sick" she said… He’s not going to go… Well… I didn’t have a date and in 7th grade… We made a promise that if neiter of us had dates… We’d go together just as "best friends"… And so we did…

IT’S PROM NIGHT..

After everything was over with… I was standing at her front door step… I stared at her … She smiled at me… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me like that… And I know it… Then she said "I had the best time… Thanks!"… And she gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I wanted her to know that I don’t want to be "just friends"… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…

IT’S GRADUATION DAY..

A day passed… And then a week… And then a month… Before I could blink… It was graduation day… I watched her… Perfect body… Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma… I wanted her to be mine… But she doesn’t think of me that way… And I know it… Before everyone went home… She came to me in her smock and hat… And cried as I hugged her… Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you’re my best friend"… "Thanks!"… And gave me a kiss on the cheek… I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"… I love her but I’m too shy… And I don’t know why…

IT’S A FEW YEARS LATER..

Now I sit in the pews of the church… A church that she is getting married in now… I watched her say "I do" an drive off to her new life… Married to another man… I wanted her to be mine… But she didn’t see me like that… And I knew it… But before she drove away… She came to me and said "You came!… Thanks!"… And she kissed me on the cheek… I wanted to tell her… I wantd her to know that I didn’t want to be "just friends"… I love her but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why…

YEARS PASSED..

I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"… At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years… This is what it said… "I stare at him… Wishing he was mine… But he doesn’t notice me like that… And I know it… I wanted to tell him… I wanted him to know… That I don’t want to be "just friends"… I love him but I’m just too shy… And I don’t know why… I wish he would tell me he loved me"… I wish I did too… I thought to myself and I cried…
rest in peace my Love

(BLADI.NET)
(Samurai007)

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Is it LOVE?

July 16th, 2008 by goddessofhatred

1. Are your palms sweaty, is your heart racing? and your voice caught within your chest? it isn’t love, it’s like.

2. You can’t keep your hand off them, am I right? it isn’t love, it’s lust

3. Are you proud and eager to show them off? it isn’t love, it’s luck

4. Do you want them because you know they’re there? it isn’t love, it’s loneliness

5. Are you there because it’s what everyone wants? it isn’t love, its loyalty

6. Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don’t want to hurt them? it isn’t love, its pity

7. Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand? it isn’t love, it’s lack of confidence

8. Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat? it isn’t love, it’s infatuation

9. Do you tell them that everyday they are the one you think of? it isn’t love, it’s a lie

10. Are you willing to give up all your favorite things for their sake? it isn’t love, it’s charity

11. Do you pardon their faults because you care about them? it isn’t love, it’s friendship

12. Do you accept their faults because it’s part of who they are? then it’s love

13. Do you cry for their pain, even when they’re strong? then it’s love

14. Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply, it hurts? then it’s love

15. Do you stay because a blinding incomprehensible mix of pain, and elations pulls you close and hold you? then it’s love

16. Are you attracted to others but stay with them faithfully with no regrets? then it’s love

17. Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?    then it’s love

18.And always remember, LOVE isn’t one sided!!–BOTH must love for LOVE TO EXIST!!!

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likewise

July 15th, 2008 by goddessofhatred

"I loved him. He needed time to think and that was ok- he was worth waiting for… and waiting for… and waiting for. Finally I realized I had waited away my life for an answer he had already given me: Had he loved me back, I would not have had to wait."
-anonymous

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love..

July 15th, 2008 by goddessofhatred


"There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year’s course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word ‘happy’ would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness" -Carl Jung

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